Thursday, January 31, 2013


I have come to realize most of the internet world is filled with mean grade A aholes hiding behind the anonymity of their keyboards & phone keypads.

Stand Up Or Shut Up

Sorry it's been a while since I posted on the Diary. I was out of town in Ohio shaking and shimming for the Columbus Bluejacket's.

 But I'm back in Colorado and ready to promote my next thing. The monthly Stand Up Or Shut Up Open Mic Comedy Night. The best open mic in the state.

 Stand Up or Shut Up is always held the last Monday of every month At Thunder and Buttons II Located at 2415 West Colorado Avenue in Colorado Springs.
Phone Number is 719- 447-9888

This Month Stand Up or Shut up falls on Monday Feb 25 and starts at 8:30 pm
21+, adult humor
No cover and no item minimum
Drink specials
Sign up by 8:30 to perform,(1) free beer to each participant

Come see 10-20 professional, amateur and destined-to-be-forever-amateur stand up comedians from all over the Front Range.

The SOS has been providing the best outlet for aspiring and pro comics to the Springs for over 0.57 dog years already and we’ll gladly take the right buttock off some mailman before we quit now. Join us and the Thunder & Buttons team for a few good beers and some great jokes. Do not attempt to feed or pet any of the comics and direct eye contact is discouraged. Hope to see all of you there. If you can't make it please share this with friends that might want to go. For more information go to

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

The Future of Mens Fashion

I have seen the future of Men's Fashion and I am very afraid.

I only wish this was a joke.

I'm sure someone would be happy to oblige.

Sassy are we? He looks like the monster from Monster Inc.

To see more hideous men's fashion check out I cannot wait to see these fashions at Kohls.

Monday, January 14, 2013

Random Thoughts from Monday January 14th 2013

 Today was Monday January 14th 2013 and I spent the day on the couch suffering from that flu bug that is making life miserable for everybody. But that gave me plenty of time for more random thoughts to occupy this confused middle aged mans mind. So again, in no particular order here they come.

Why are people surprised by shark attacks? If a shark walked into my house, I’d kill it.

 On the average, a healthy person farts 16 times a day. I must be an Olympic athlete. 

 I feel really fat right now.

I lost my job as an instructor at a cosmetology school because my definition of a facial didn't match with their curriculum.

I just like saying the word marsupial.


When I belch it tastes like peanut butter and shame.

You can't get any whiter than the Lawrence Welk Show.


 Bachelorettes, instead of penis party favors at your parties why don't you mix it up and be different and use nut sack party favors. Then you would have a place to keep your beer.

 Sometimes you just have to fist pump!

 I just learned that cats show off their buttholes to tell you that they are comfortable with you. People should do that too.

I don't skydive because there is not a parachute on this planet that can slow me down.

Sitting here eating potato chips & watching cat videos on youtube. Man, I really need a hobby.

I wonder if Canadians think of the United States as their Mexico?

 I wish sex was as easy to have as they make it out to be on all these TV shows. Then maybe I wouldn't watch TV as much

 I truly believe humans increased their intelligence to invent the automobile so we wouldn't ever have to run again.

 Another wasted day, I'm a slug fish.

And there you go my Monday January 14th 2013. I can only hope and dream that tomorrow brings a much better, healthier and productive day. But in the meantime, please feel free to continue thanking God your day was better than mine. Until next time stay confused.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Random Thoughts From January 12

It's Saturday January 12th 2013 and I had a lot of random thoughts that occupied this confused man's mind. So I thought I would share them with you. In, as is custom, no particular order. Sit back open a beer, ponder and enjoy.

 It's almost impossible not to giggle after saying in a high pitched voice "jubee jubee!" Go ahead and try it, I dare you.

 I can't wait until marijuana becomes socially accepted and legalized nationwide. Because the TV commercials are going to be awesome! (This Bud's For You.)

 It feels like a dance fight night.

 What's up with all this tuck rule talk in Denver? Is Rupaul officiating this NFL playoff game?

 This Gun Debate is getting as old and boring as American Idol. Is there anyway we can cancel both of them?

 What is this fascination with everybody wanting to comment how cold it is in January?

  Does Narwhal tears make the sea salty?


 Nicki Minaj in charge of picking talent on national tv is not only scary but socially irresponsible.

  That teen age mom who waxed her three year old's eyebrows that's catching a lot of flack online. She must of felt really angry, because the eyebrows overshadowed the botox injections she bought her daughter for her 3rd birthday.

 I wonder what goes through the mind of a streaker before he decides to streak? I venture there's probably a lot of beer going through it.

 Astronomers have discovered the largest known structure in the universe. Payton Mannings head.

So there you guys go. Just some of the many provoking thoughts that crosses this very confused man's mind. Please feel free to dissect, analyze and discuss. 

If you liked this blog why not go and check out my other blog at

Friday, January 11, 2013

January 11 2013 Ohio Can Be Beautiful Too.

See Ohio can be beautiful too.Yes I live in Colorado and it is very beautiful. But every place has it's own beauty. We should all stop and enjoy the beauty around us and within us instead of looking for it elsewhere